Well, something monumental took place today: I finished college.
This, this educational experience has a been a dark, five year war. I have finally reached the end of a tunnel that I never thought I would ever see. I am a college graduate.
This summer has been interesting to say the least. I felt that I was finally left alone in Eugene to finish school. My closest friends had either moved away or were busy building their new lives; I was just trying to catch up to them. I have hated, hated school. I saw this higher education to be a total roadblock as it was holding me back from doing what I wanted to do at that time. However, once I was finally left with just one class to take, and nothing else, I found myself doing something else that I thought would never happened: I WAS ENJOYING THE COURSE. And to make matters even stranger, IT WAS A SCIENCE CLASS. And you know what? I maintained an A through most of that class. I’ll be honest, I didn’t give a fuck about the final. I was (and still am) so proud of myself for doing as good as I did in that class.
I know that I bitch a lot and am always complaining; but I really don’t think people understand how difficult this past year has been for me. I truly feel that I lost everything I cared about and had to completely start over. I had to watch as things I poured my heart and soul into were just handed over to other people who did absolutely nothing to deserve them. As I continued to take mental punch after mental punch, I had to be witness to the unfair and vicious cycle of life. Here I am, someone who is fighting so hard to prove my worth while some stupid bitch kissed enough ass to steal my opportunities away. This is society, this is the cycle. Deep down, people don’t care how hard you work or what your accomplishments are. If you do not worship the ground others walk on, you are merely rubbish. Well, I’m sorry. I feel that you need to earn respect and should do your own work to reach the top. However, as I say this, all I wanted this past year was someone to simply give me something and help me out. I suppose I should be thankful for everything that has happened, my eyes are open in a way they never were before. But at the same time, I feel so beaten down. I know I will get back to how I once was, but it is a challenge.
So now I’m applying for jobs. I find myself getting annoyed with the companies that ask what my GPA is. You know what I want to put in that box? FUCK YOU. I mean give me a break. Look at my resume. Look at the activities I took part in. Look at the friendships and experiences I made. Look at all the crap I just went through in just one year alone. Yeah, my GPA can suffer. I’m sorry, but this was the only time in my life that I would be able to do what I’ve done with the people who were there. I found that creating these relationships had much more importance than a class. My friendships will last long past my college career and will benefit me in that fashion. How can some number between 1 and 4 put an accurate value on the type of employee that I can be? It can’t.
A rubber ball always bounces back, it just has to reach the bottom first.
With that in mind, I’ve finally reach the ground. My legs are bent and the pressure is building. It’s only a matter of time before I release and launch back into the air. There is no where to go from here but up.